


If you go there go with me

by Macaron



Category: Oz (TV)
Genre: Fix-It, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Melancholy, but in a good way for happy ending, even if in heaven, sort of characters death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 19:56:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4535280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macaron/pseuds/Macaron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"He thought about Chris. He remembered his idea about heaven. His idea of them together in heaven."</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you go there go with me

He saw the face of Holly. His little dumpling. His little girl. Some time ago his mother had told him that Holly had his eyes, that she was exactly like him. His copy. When he saw the face of his beautiful daughter he saw nothing of his own. Holly wasn’t nothing like him. She was a survivor, a fighter. So small and pure and so strong. Nothing like him. She’ll conquer the world.  
He saw Harry. The idea of his child, the memory of his child more than his child himself. He saw his face the day was born, the day they met. His life was already gone to the hell, a hell paved with a lot of martini, but when he saw that face, the face of his third child he had seen a hope.

He thought about Gary. He thought if he would see him again. He thought about the small hand in a package. He thought about all the people who had lost and if would have never been able to make amends. He wondered if would see Gary again and if his son in heaven had both hands.  


He thought about Chris. He remembered his idea about heaven. His idea of them together in heaven. He tried to think about the idea of heaven according to the Christians. He tried to remember Said’s words about Janna, if this really was its name. He tried and tried and the only thing he saw, the only thing he remembered, the only thing he could think of was Chris. 

And then he died.

He didn’t saw white lights. He didn’t felt the hot of burning flames. He didn’t saw the faces of all the people died for his fault. He didn’t saw even the seventy-two virgins but maybe those were not for everyone. He didn’t saw Gary (and this broke his heart, just for one second. But he deserved that, isn’t it? His penalty was not over yet. Never over).  
He saw Chris. Funny isn’t it? “You are death. Let me live.” His last word for Chris. Let me live.

I lived. You waited for me?

Chris. Like in a dream.  
Like coming home.

Did you miss me? Christ I missed you.

 

“At last!”  
“Sorry, what?”  
“I’ve waited here for ages, for a lifetime. Maybe two. I waited and waited and you never come.”  
“Have you tried to light a cigarette?”  
“What the fuck are you talking about?”  
“Works when you’re waiting a bus.”  
Like magic. Like coming home. Like feeling at home.  
“What took you so long anyway? They gone soft on death row?”  
“Oh, I haven’t been executed. I died of cancer.”  
“No death penalty? For real? No shit!”  
“Nope, cancer not lethal injection. No thanks to you.”  
“Oh, sorry about that. We’re ok, right? Have you forgiven me?”  
“Not for a second. Chris, you tried to send me on a death row!”  
“And you are survived, lucky you. Instead I’m not only dead but I’ve waited for you for ages. I didn’t go in alone, I waited. But I forgave you. So we’re fine”  
“Toby, did you miss me?”

He can’t win. Not with Chris. Never. Not on earth, not even in front of the doors of heaven. And Chris left him live the rest of his life, so maybe they’re really fine.  
In the past he had thought that when you love someone so much, maybe too much, you really have no choice. But maybe it is not. Maybe when you love someone so much, too much, your choices will always bring to him. The choices you made. You have a choice. And you choose him. Chris has chosen the possibility of heaven together instead of his own life. Chris. The person with more survival instinct that he has ever known has chosen Toby instead of life. So maybe now it's time to stop being angry and choose the life they want.

“Chris, How do you imagine will be the heaven?”  
"I dunno man, motorcycles and beaches. And blowjobs deluxe."  
"Really? Are you really so simple? Motorcycles and beaches? And blowjobs? You can have that stuff even on earth without too much effort"  
"Blowjobs deluxe. Not just blowjob."  
"..."  
"..."  
"Shut up!"  
“And for you, all this heaven thing…”  
"For me the heaven is a kind of place where the things you love don't control you, don't obsess you, don't destroy you. Where you can have both, life and love."  
"You really missed me so much, don't you Toby?"  
"I was talking about martini."  
"I love you."  
"I missed you."

 

"Then how we get to heaven?"  
"I do not know"  
"It was your idea! You’ve been waiting for years, dying of boredom and have not thought about how we can enter in heaven? What did you do? You jerked off all the time?"  
“You really see the worst in me.”  
I see all of you in you. And I stay anyway.  
“I hope you at least have pictured me in those moments.”  
“Sure. And then you're the lawyer, not me! Do one of your magic and let us in. "

Maybe we’re already there.

**Author's Note:**

> Eng is not my first language but i wanted to try, just for fun=) .  
> I suppose everyone has already written something about Beecher and Keller in heaven but sometimes a girl needs a happy ending. Although it involves the death of the two main characters, but it is Oz baby.


End file.
